Four Simple Steps To Build Confidence

7 Mar

confident-man

“Be Confident to Build Confidence: 4 Simple Steps”

Hey guys,

John Lawrence here, founder of PHGH, and I am sure you have heard the all too common saying,

“Fake it until you make it.”

When I first heard it I was in my mid twenties and was listening to a friend of mine try to sell me an opportunity in his new business. When I commented on his spiffy new suit, he told me that one of the first principles of this new entrepreneurship was dressing up on the premise that if you started dressing better and driving a nicer car, the wealth to sustain the new lifestyle was sure to follow.

Well suffice to say that I did not invest my hard earned money in his opportunity, but I often thought about the principle of “dressing successfully” in an attempt to draw success, and the quote stuck with me.

Recently I stumbled on it again, this time in a study on professional athletes to determine how to regain lost confidence.

Intrigued I went back and read the entire research project so that I could put the quote in perspective and what I found was so interesting that I used the research to create a four step process for regaining sexual confidence.

Here Are The Four Steps:

  1. Walk Tall. This means act confidently. Walk with your head held high, shoulders back, chin up, and back straight. Look people in the eyes, shake their hands with a strong grip, and speak firmly and audibly.

You see… when you carry yourself tall and put a little pep in your step, your thoughts and feelings will follow, staying up and positive. You will portray a confidence you may not even feel at first, but others will feel it and over time it will reflect back into you from them.

Just don’t overdo it. If you walk too tall people will think you are stiff, stuck up, or egotistical. Walk tall but make sure everyone still knows you are approachable and down to earth.

  1. Talk Tall. To do this you have to be careful about word choices and what you are trying to express to others. Be authentic, get rid of the meaningless chatter and gossip, and instead focus on truly communicating with the people around you in a positive way. Respond to other people’s positive news with genuine gladness, and respond to their negatives with an unshakable belief that things are soon going to turn for the better.

You see… When you talk positively, pivoting out of negative scenarios with ease, you will find that your thoughts and feelings will start doing the same.

Just be careful not to overdo it. No one wants to hear only positives coming out of someone’s mouth, especially when they are in a tough bind, depressed, or upset. Be understanding and genuine and no one will take your positive spin as unrealistic.

  1. Think Big. Use thought stopping to break the cycle of negative thinking. The left side of your brain will often try to over protect you by smothering you with worry and doubt, and prepare you for failure. Unfortunately this creates what I call “self fulfilling prophecies of doom.” This is when you expect the worst so you get it. You can prevent this by yelling “Stop!” inside your own head when you hear any hint of worry or fear or doubt. It’s a proven scientific fact that this will stun the left side of your brain into momentary silence, allowing you to replace the negative thought with a positive one.

Over time your brain will start to ignore the mutterings of doom and you can train it to respond to the boosts of confidence and positive thought that you insert.

  1. Embrace Strength. I talk a lot about embracing positives, but the simple fact is we live in the real world and that world is rarely fair. You are inevitably going to be angry, frustrated, and occasionally sad or depressed. So the key is to be strong enough to handle it, and strong enough to flip it on its head.

This is important because negative experiences linger with us longer and more powerfully than positive ones. Many psychologists believe that it takes 12 positive experiences to equal one negative one.

So you have to be sure to pat yourself on the back when you do something right, or reward yourself for good work. Take the time to notice when you do well instead of just beating yourself up when everything goes wrong. It will make you stronger, more capable of enduring the tough moments.

So that’s how you fake it until you make it, building confidence to be confident, changing how you think, walk, talk, and act to fit the person you want to become.

Like putting on a spiffy new suit, at first it’s going to feel a bit odd, but after awhile you are going to love your new suit, and more importantly, the confidence and success it creates.

by John Lawrence

For more on my life, my time in the adult industry, and all the tips, hints, advice, and blog spots follow me on Twitter (@johnlawrencexxx)

Or connect with me on Facebook.

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Victor Reviews PHGH

15 Feb

Victor Russell, a happy customer reviews PHGH on his channel, Victor Review (youtube). Watch his review!

Maddy O’Reilly Reviews PHGH

15 Feb

Maddy is a good friend of mine. Listen to what she has to say about PHGH! (She recommends it).

My Time in Porn

23 Jan

xxx

My name is John Lawrence, creator of PHGH.

As you may or may not know, I used to be an adult film actor… a porn star.

And let me tell you, it was incredible.

Just think about it, if watching porn is a turn on… imagine what living it must be like.

Every day was like being a kid at Disneyland, there was always something new to look at with wide eyes… or to ride. The women were world class: physically perfect and deliciously sexual. They stimulated the senses in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.

There was even this one amazingly sensual adult actress in particular who had us all wrapped around her little finger. And on a delayed shoot one evening early in my career she took me aside on a whim and showed me how to savage her taut body in ways that I still dream about today.

Not to mention that the producers loved me. I was a big hit from the get go.

It was powerful, like a strong addiction. The celebrities, the all-night after parties, getting into any exclusive night club we wanted, dining at 5 star restaurants every night, and all the high powered craziness that goes with a successful lifestyle in the Hollywood sex industry.

I was quickly swept away in the whirlwind of passion and excitement.

I worked with stars like Jenna J. and Ron Jeremy, Peter North, and the King of Stamina himself, Marcus London. And I was beating the odds in the Los Angeles, the City of Angels, center of the entertainment world where everyone comes to make it big yet very few do.

But to be honest, it couldn’t last.

The industry is fickle, the job is more difficult than you know, and the lifestyle takes its toll on your health. I’m not sure when the passion and excitement turned into the stirrings of discontent… but it did… and after about fifty films I was taking a slight turn for the worse, feeling a bit off and unsure. By seventy I was in a full blown free fall of unhappiness.

And while you may have trouble believing me considering the nature of my work, I am a very private man in a number of ways. I refused to ever let my personal life affect my professional work. And I did not like to open up about what was happening in my daily existence outside of the studios. Not to friends, not to family, and certainly not to others in the industry. So there was always a great deal going on that I wasn’t sharing.

At times I barely slept but an hour or two a night… would lay awake wondering where I was going and what I wanted to do with my life.

Was this it? Had I reached the peak? And if so, why wasn’t I happier -why did I constantly feel like I was meant for something more… something greater than what I was doing.

And to make matters worse, all my male friends outside of the industry thought my life must be perfect and constantly built me up as this sex industry icon that they bragged about to others, talking about me in ways that had no bearing on actual reality. Women wanted to sleep with me. People wanted to know me, to be around me. But they didn’t understand and I certainly wasn’t going to share the truth.

Everyone thought I was so humble but I was really just keeping it all inside.

And the stress, along with some other factors, eventually built up to the point where it impacted my work. I started having trouble getting into the mindset where I could perform up to professional movie-making standards. I no longer took much pleasure in the sex. It was just work, scene after scene after scene. My mind was always somewhere else, wondering what I should done differently, thinking about what changes I could make.

Then one day at work I couldn’t get an erection, not even a hint of one. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get hard. I pleaded a sudden illness to the producer and took the week off. I tried to get away and took a short vacation but it didn’t help. No matter how far I went I couldn’t escape my own head.

So when I came back to work I turned to the supplements and tried all of the products on the market. And remember, at this point the choices were limited, the options were not very well regulated, and the effects were either drastic or nonexistent. But I still took them all.

And while I was able to temporarily fix my performance issues, I often felt even worse afterwards. The drugs made me feel physically ill at times and the side effects sucked. I started researching the alternatives, reading every forum available, posting questions and comments relentlessly, reading medical texts, and talking to every physician, psychologist, sex therapist, and medical specialist I had access to.

It became a sort of obsession for me. I knew I had a problem, and I knew there were solutions out there… but I didn’t know if any of the solutions were right for me.

Over time I became an expert on the matter and other actors in the industry started coming to me for answers. I had a wealth of information and would tell them what I knew, point out some valid research, recommend a few articles, direct them to the proper channels, and it always made me a feel a little better when they would find what they were looking for.

Now if only I could do the same for myself I used to think.

I began traveling to remote parts of the world. At first it was just to get away, but something was drawing me. As I kept researching I found strange and powerful links between traditional Eastern medicine and male enhancement.

And it was on one such journey into South East Asia that I had a powerful moment of inspiration and realized that this is what I was meant for. Not the travel part, although that was wonderful, but the creation of something that could help people. Help people like me who did not want to be stuck with the lesser of two evils (in male enhancement) and needed a different option… a better alternative.

So after 100 films in adult entertainment I officially retired.

And now I work diligently (as the owner and developer of PHGH) to help men of all ages overcome the very problems that I experienced so powerfully during the latter stages of my career in porn.

I’ll never regret my time in the industry.

They were some of the best years of my life and made me who I am today.

But I can honestly say… this is FAR more fulfilling.

PHGH gives me a chance to truly touch lives in a way that I was missing before, to reconnect faithful husbands with their loving wives, to give lonely men a new chance at a great and fulfilling relationship, to share all the knowledge I have gained, to give good advice to those in need, and to just do my part to make a difference in whatever way I can.

The issues a man faces relating to his ability to perform are often trivialized and joked about, but in all honesty these common problems are very powerfully connected to a man’s sense of worth and confidence.

I know because I have suffered through them. And there is nothing trivial or funny about it.

In fact it is quite the opposite.

But there is no describing the satisfaction I felt when I successfully overcame the performance obstacles that stood in the way of a fulfilling love-life and an amazing relationship.

And for me there is a wonderful sense of purpose in helping others get there as well.

John Lawrence

For more on my life, my time in the adult industry, and all the tips, hints, advice, and blog spots follow me on Twitter (@johnlawrencexxx)

Or connect with me on Facebook.

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6 Reasons Why You Need to Masturbate Regularly

15 Jan

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Good afternoon everyone,

John Lawrence here.

Last night I was going through some of the letters from my readers and I noticed that a lot of you out there have written in saying that people in your life have made you feel ashamed or guilty about masturbation. Others have written in wondering if it is bad for you. And still more have asked me what to do about the fact that you have been caught in the act and it is putting stress on your relationship.

Well, today I am going to clear up all of this for you.

The truth is that masturbation needs to be a part of every man’s life. It has amazing results on the human body.

I am going to give you the six facts you should know in order to avoid any negative feelings about masturbation that can threaten your health and well being.

The simple of it is: Regular masturbation allows you to…

Live Longer: According to an amazing new study by Dr. Michael Roizen of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute, men who have an orgasm a day live up to four years longer than those who don’t. Double that up and you can live up to eight years more. And that’s not all. The same study says that men who masturbate to orgasm once or twice daily look and feel up to fifteen years younger than they are.

Live Healthier: It is a well known fact that masturbating regularly boosts the immune system, improves the circulation system, promotes healthy testosterone levels, improves blood flow to your genitals, strengthens your heart, fights off colds and viruses, and even flushes out toxin build-ups and cancer causing chemicals. Let me repeat -It can literally keep you from getting cancer.

Stress Less: Life is often incredibly stressful. It builds up and builds up until it has negative impacts on our health, our state of mind, and our ability to just relax and be ourselves. Frequent masturbation provides a means of lowering blood pressure and reducing stress that does not involve any prescription pills or intense work out regiments.

Avoid Depression: When you masturbate to an orgasm, the body releases a blast of serotonin and dopamine. These mood enhancing substances not only have the pleasure power of a small freight train to the brain but help fight short and long term depression, making you less likely to fall into a bad funk.

Cures Insomnia: Masturbation is the best cure for insomnia on the market. It releases the hormone Oxytocin, which among a host of other benefits not only promotes deep healthy sleep but good dreams as well. So on those long nights of tossing and turning, instead of taking a sleep aid and risking the side effects, you now have a better, safer, and more pleasurable alternative. You will wake up feeling rested and be ready for the next day.

Improve Stamina: Along with PHGH, which is a natural male enhancement that not only improves blood flow to give you a harder erection but helps keep it up longer so that you can enjoy the full experience, masturbation is a great tool to improving how long you can last in bed. It helps you learn the natural techniques that keep you going longer, and recognize when you are getting close to orgasm so you can slow down or use any number of manual methods to prevent ejaculation before you are ready.

So there you have it. Masturbation is clearly man’s best friend.

It can literally keep you alive nearly a decade longer while helping you feeling younger than ever.

And not only does it help keep you safer from cancer, it promotes other areas of good health, fights off depression, reduces the levels of stress that mess up so many other areas of your life, gets you to sleep so that you can wake up feeling rested, and on top of everything else helps you improve your sexual stamina in bed with a partner.

It’s not just good for you, it’s good for her.

So the next time someone tries to make you feel guilty or ashamed, or a partner questions your motives or catches you in the act, go ahead and take a few calm moments to share the six vital facts about masturbation that everyone needs to know, and you will be amazed at how quickly the situation will change for the positive.

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The Cumless Die Young: A Must Read

8 Jan

I don’t mean to scare you but your life is literally on the line.

If you are not having enough sex, or masturbating to completion, you are not going to live as long as those who are.

I was doing some researching on an unrelated side topic when I found something I just had to share with you.

Listen to this…

Findings in a pertinent study by Dr. Michael Roizen of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute shows that men who have a minimum of 350 orgasms a year (which breaks down to about one a day) actually live significantly longer.

How much longer I asked?

About FOUR YEARS.

And to make this even more relevant to every man’s life, ejaculating 350 times a year not only extends your days but also makes you feel younger than you are. Eight years younger than your contemporaries to be exact.

But wait, it gets better.

Have two orgasms a day and you can literally double your results.

It’s true. The more sex you have the longer you will live, and if you are not having sex regularly, incorporate a healthy masturbation regiment into your daily activity list, along with eating right, working out, and supplementing your diet with vitamins, minerals, and all the other essential supplements.

So don’t be just an average American who ejaculates a mere ninety times a year, which is the national average.

Improve your numbers to improve your vigor and quality of life.

Take your PHGH regularly to boost your sex drive. It makes a huge difference.

And live years longer, not to mention better, by ejaculating more often.

Your future literally depends on it.

A powerful Win-Win if ever I heard one.

For more win-win’s follow me on Facebook or Twitter or LinkedIn.

And share your thoughts with me.

I’d love to hear back from you.

Sincerely,

John Lawrence

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